Text and Image Copyright Notice. Published under copyright by Loveawake Canadian Chatroulette. © Copyright 2010-2021. All rights reserved.

Men are most attracted to happy women who genuinely like themselves and who enjoy being women. When you're happy, he feels successful. When you're a bottomless pit who never seems pleased by anything he does, he finally gets worn out and leaves. Kara Oh

Are you great to be around?

Are you a black cloud in your man’s life or are you a ray of sunshine? Do you add to your man’s life by being happy, content with yourself and recognising what is wonderful about him or do you constantly nag him and complain about what is not right because you are expecting him to compensate for what you haven’t got for yourself! BE CAREFUL if it’s the latter.

It is your duty to yourself to live your life to its fullest potential and enjoy being who you are. When you learn to like yourself and revel in how wonderful you are, you will give out a glow that is irresistible. Your man will want to bask in your rays. He will feel good being around you.

If you are constantly moaning about your problems, your man will instinctively try to fix it. John Gray says men try to find solutions. If he can’t and of course only YOU can fix your life, then he’ll feel bad about himself. You will become a constant reminder of this failure!

Eventually if you continue to be a miserable bitch, your man will find himself moving further and further away from you and can you blame him!

Sunshiner or a black clouder?

Explore yourself. As you ask yourself these questions, be honest, answer with what comes up first. Let your thoughts flow. This is just an exploration of self-discovery for you to gain awareness of yourself.

• Do you wake up thinking about what you are grateful for rather than what you haven’t got?
• When you are faced with a problem, do you see it as a challenge or a big hassle in your life?
• If you are feeling bad, bored or unhappy do you expect the man in your life to make it all right?
• Are you happy in your work? Are you doing YOU?

Of course it is wonderful to be able to share problems and challenges with your man. The difference is in how you approach it. Are you seeking to make it better or are you just wallowing in your misery. Remember that a man will try to solve your problem so if you want to wallow in your misery, don’t expect him to wallow with you. That’s what girlfriends are for, to let you wallow for a while and pick you up and cheer you up! BUT, remember that you need to be able to do this for yourself as well.

Brighten up

Learn how to focus on what you want, not what you don't want. Learn to be true to the real you. Learn to take leaps of faith when you listen to your intuiton. Read my book, Flirt Coach, and do the exercises. You will learn more about yourself and how to be happier, brighter and give out a glow.

Warning: Miserable and depressed people spread misery and depression to those around them. We unconsciously avoid them as we do someone with an infection. Unless you brighten up, you may find your man avoiding your infectious misery and seeking the infectious laughter of another!!